January 2021 and February 2021

8515 Penfield Ave
Winnetka, CA 91306

Founded in 1987 by Terry Brussel and Brian Gitt
Based on the philosophy of Family Synergy,
Founded 1971 by Hy Levy and Pat LaFollette

LIVE THE DREAM FOUNDED 1987
UPCOMING EVENTS
Saturday January 16, 2021
11AM to 12:30PM
Poly Possibilities: X Wife/X Husband or Lovers You Used to be Married To?
Led by Paul and Athena Gibbons with Terry and Craig Brussel Rogers

Saturday February 20, 2021
11AM to 12:30PM
Finding Your Love(s) in a Pandemic: Post Valentine’s Day Assistance
Led by Fourth Generation Matchmaker Terry Brussel-Rogers with Craig Brussel Rogers

Join Zoom Meeting
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/3175971626?pwd=NWVjU3A2M0I2Q29IUkI4L1lMRzd2QT09 Meeting ID: 317 597 1626 Passcode: Heinlein

We will be back to in-person meetings when safe and legal…BUT find us Always here on the 3rd Saturday from 11AM-12:30PM Pacific Time … This will be our Zoom ID from now on.
Live the Dream is an education and support group for those who, originally inspired by the writings of Robert Heinlein, Robert Rimmer, and Marion Zimmer Bradley, are now ready to LIVE such alternative lifestyles as cooperative living, open relationships, and group marriage. Many of our concepts on multiply committed relationships come from Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land and Moon is a Harsh Mistress. Live the Dream also sponsors a nest of Church of All Worlds, the real life, over fifty-year-old spiritual movement inspired by Stranger in a Strange Land.

Live the Dream January & February 2021
Please visit the Live the Dream website at www.livethedream.org to view current events, past articles, etc.
Terry Brussel-Rogers is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, Life Coach, & a 4th generation Matchmaker.
We provide poly relationship counseling, hypnotic jealousy release, success coaching and other services.
See www.acesuccess.com or call (800) LIFE MATES (543-3628)

EVENTS
All Live the Dream LIVE events are 11am-4pm on 3rd Saturdays at 8515 Penfield Ave in Winnetka, Ca. 91306 (unless otherwise specified)
For all events: RSVP/more info call the LTD Hotline (818) 886-0069
The silver lining of Safer at Home experience: From now on, all our meetings will be available on Zoom for those who can’t get to us in person. Some will be hosted by speakers in other areas, too. We will be doing both Zoom and Live as soon as that is safe and legal. Meanwhile…

Come Zoom with Us
Saturday January 16, 2021
11AM to 12:30PM
Poly Possibilities: X Wife/X Husband or Lovers You Used to be Married To?
Led by Paul and Athena Gibbons with Terry and Craig Brussel Rogers
Paul and Terry were handfasted in 1993, married in 1994 and legally separated in 2008. They lived in LA. Terry and Paul remained platonic family by choice (water kin) for a couple of years before becoming lovers again. Paul married Athena in 2020 (with some on-the-spot help from Terry and Craig in putting the In Person & Zoom ceremony together) after a decade of living together—in Phoenix. Terry and Craig were married in 2018 and still live in LA. Paul and Athena visit Terry and Craig every month or two as Paul still has many ties in California. A couple times a year, Terry and Craig visit Paul and Athena in Phoenix. They take vacations together, spend holidays and birthdays together and All four are friends and water kin, but only Terry and Paul are lovers. It’s a hell of a lot better than permanently losing someone you loved enough to marry!

How does this work out for each of them? How might it work for YOU?
Saturday February 20, 2021
11AM to 12:30PM

Finding Your Love(s) in a Pandemic: Post Valentine’s Day Assistance
Led by Fourth Generation Matchmaker Terry Brussel-Rogers with Craig Brussel Rogers
Did you spend Valentine’s Day with your primary partner? With some combination of spice and lovers? If you are single did you spend it on Zoom or in person with a potential love interest? Any of these are possible and positive (in some cases delicious!) in their own ways. If you spent it in social isolation, that may have been necessary in these dangerous times. Or not. Perhaps there are other safe options appropriate to your particular circumstances. We will discuss ways that can work to make your own present situation closer to the delights you actually want in your life…right now. Guided meditation for Attracting Your Special Someone(s) climaxes this event.
POLY Relationships in Transition through the years…

In the serially monogamous society of a majority of Americans it is necessary to end one romantic relationship before another can begin–at least in the case of “serious” relationships. Most people living this love style will accept casual dating of more than one person, sometimes even a casual fling going on at the same time as a more serious relationship. A business man cheating on his wife during an out-of-town trip gets no more than tsk, tsk from any but the most enthusiastic subscribers to “monogamy”.
Among the polyamorous it is possible to begin a new romantic relationship without ending an ongoing one. Both such relationships may be committed and meaningful, even if one is considered primary and the other secondary. Does this mean break ups never happen in polyamory? Hardly.

True, members of our community have developed more tools for coping with such things than the average monogamous person and we do have an added protection in that some of our needs can be met by another partner if a primary partner doesn’t fulfill them all or can’t do so at the moment. We also aren’t going to break up because we find hubby in bed with his girlfriend.
However, relationships break up for many reasons having nothing to do with another entering the life of either partner. Polyamorous relationships are still vulnerable to break ups caused by moving apart in life goals, lack of communication, falling out of love, financial differences etc.

There is also the question of how many serious romantic relationships one has time for. (Get your gift of Time Enough for Love Poly Scheduler at 800 LIFE MATES 800 543-3628) A relationship may be ended simply for this very practical reason unless the time crunched person can combine activities with more than one lover at once or take an efficiency course. Ultimately, while polyamory provides more flexibility and wider choices, some form of discrimination must be practiced in order to devote the attention, the quality time needed to form and maintain deep, intimate relationships. When your dance card is full (at least for now) it may be necessary to say no to new people or, if a new person seems irresistible, to end or down size (for example from once a week to once a month) a present relationship to make room for the new one. Many people find it difficult to maintain two primary relationships at one time–particularly if the two others involved either don’t get along at all or don’t get along well enough to live together.
Time permitting, the possibility of having a heady affair with a new love become a steady secondary relationship is a good one and is a big advantage of living this lifestyle. It works if the new lovers take care to be considerate of any primary partners or preexisting secondary partners of either of them and maintain the joy in those relationships.

If a decision is made to end a romantic relationship for whatever reason, it can be handled in a number of different ways. You can have a nasty fight and never speak to each other again, cutting his or her picture out of family albums. You can persuade your friends to choose up sides and never talk to your X either. This is a little hard to manage if both of you are going to stay in the (rather small) poly community, attending the same conventions, etc. My first X-husband managed it by completely dropping out of that community (before his passing in 2017). He also crossed hotel lobbies and public streets to avoid me at SF conventions. He was extreme enough to be funny (unintentionally), but this kind of break up makes others forced to be around it pretty uncomfortable.
Traumatic break-ups can be equally negative when the participants are close friends who never have been lovers. Such break ups are best handled with courtesy and as much grace as one can muster when meeting at the gatherings you both attend, since becoming friends is not usually an option here.

The option of becoming friends does exist in a romantic relationship even if you choose to be lovers no more. This is much more comfortable for everyone (especially any children involved). You could even go on being lovers, but see less of each other, stop living together, etc. A member of our expanded family who lived with us for 16 years (Carl) had a great open relationship with one X wife which was sexual as well as loving. He also had a warm, close relationship with another X wife of the friendship variety. The one who he’s friends with flew him out to Northern California to priest (Pagan style) a coming-of-age ceremony for her nephew. This occurred several years after the breakup of their marriage. Carl broke up with me, as a lover, in 1997, having moved
in with my then husband Paul Gibbons and me in 1995. He did it in a way so gentle and caring that it did not damage our friendship or even make living together difficult. (Note: we lost Carl to old age in 2011, still living with me as a housemate and water brother in a different group house at that time.)
My second husband Paul (who I separated from in 2008) and I built our way to close friendship over the years since the end of our marriage. At first, this took overcoming all sorts of obstacles caused by a heart breaking split up. We had too many things in common and too many reasons to remain friends not to make it happen. We became lovers again a couple of years after that separation. Some of this is thanks to the willingness of Paul’s primary partner to allow their relationship to be an open one. Though she was new to this lifestyle at the time, she had read lots of Heinlein. Though Paul and his primary partner stay mostly in Phoenix, we manage to share Live the Dream meetings, Libertarian gatherings, family birthday parties, shared business activities and even vacations together with our primary partners, Craig and Athena. We sleep in one bed (See notes on our BIG bed below) when they visit our home.
My grandchildren, who have known Paul all their lives, still call him Grandpa Paul. Some of them also call Craig Grandpa without excluding Paul. Why not have more Grandpas to enjoy if Grandma can add partners to her life?

Most of my romances over the years have remained close as friends and water brothers (family-by-choice concept from Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein) whether our relationship extended to the bedroom at present or not. I have relationships which have transitioned back and forth from the romantic to the platonic more than once (some over periods of twenty+ years) and have been relatively undamaged by the changes. This has been rough in situations in which I was so in love with someone that it hurt to be “just friends” after having experienced the delights and special intimacy of shared sexuality. Maintaining those relationships has been important enough to me that I’ve found ways to make it work anyhow–sometimes after a bit of a cooling off period. I shared with my first water brother in 1969. Glen remains my best friend as of 2019. He and most of my other water brothers (yes, this includes sisters) are part of an intimate network of friends who get together for parties, weddings, funerals and holidays. Like any close family, many of us are together for the long haul. Those who have left whether due to a break up. location change triggered by a job or relationship change or some other reason may come back months or years later and still be welcome at a family gathering.
For now, I am enjoying the excitement and wonder the relationship with Craig, my Poly Prince Life Mate. There is room in our lives for a special and dear secondary partner if one comes our way…
2020 The Year of the Pandemic

We reached the end of this harrowing year. It is January 1, 2021. As I write this addendum to the above life slice, Paul is driving me, Craig and Athena home from a day trip to Lake Cachuma for a picnic lunch and a walk around Solvang. We had an at home New Year’s Eve with my best friend, Glen, his wife Susan and his son Johnathan. Doors and windows were open, etc. while very much aware of the Pandemic, we have chosen to maintain relationships with those who are dearest to us. We have done this in ways ranging from Live the Dream meetings on Zoom to lunches in the park mostly masked. My daughter and I have taken masked socially distanced walks and shared take out outside. Thanksgiving was outside in our front yard. I have seen some of my grandchildren at their home in a pre-pandemic way while visiting the others by phone in cars with the windows up depending on the current Pandemic requirements. Paul, Athena, Craig and I have chosen to remain in relationship throughout this year. Still doing birthdays, weddings and holidays together including one trip quickly arranged trip to Cleveland before the passing of Paul’s mother who I had called Mom from the time of my marriage to Paul in 1994 until she passed on Yom Kippur of 2019. We did that to provide emotional support for Paul, but all of us had formed our own relationships with her as well and we wanted to say goodbye while she was still alive. Paul, Athena, Craig and I had a staycation at our home in the San Fernando Valley over the winter holidays which included masked, socially distanced visits to grand children in Idlewild and Temecula as well as to their mother, my daughter Regina, who now has 2 step Dads. This is the kind of sharing which means FAMILY to me.

Whatever 2021 holds, I believe maintaining such relationships is vital to the quality of all our lives. May the year ahead bring to those who read this Health, Joy and Love in ways that are safe, healthy and WONDEROUS for all.
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Terry, who has been a hypnotherapist since 1969 and also ran her family’s matchmaking business Marriage Minded Introductions for forty years, has done matchmaking in the Poly community and now does poly relationship coaching including assisting her hypnotherapy/coaching clients make it through that singles jungle of internet dating options. She wrote Choosing, Finding and Attracting Your Life mate in 1992 with its most recent 2020 edition introduced at Conscious Life Expo in February of 2020. Her guided meditations Attract Your Special Someone and Attract Your Special Someone’s are available on her website www.acesuccess.com or by calling 800-Life Mate (543-3628) Private coaching and hypnotherapy sessions (by phone as Terry pioneered telephone hypnosis in 1995) for your unique situation are also available.
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If you have a “What do you do when?” question for us,
or any Poly related article for publication WHAT EXPERIENCES/BOOK REVIEWS, ETC. CAN YOU SHARE RELATING TO THE POLY LIFE STYLE? We’d like to run it here.
Please E-Mail to: newsletter@mail.livethedream.org
Or mail it to 8515 Penfield Ave. Winnetka, Ca. 91306.
We will take any question with your solution or brain storm and give it one or more of our own. Let’s have fun with this and learn from each other.
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Meet Ups & Other Group Events
NONE OF THIS IS COVID 19 UPDATED. GO TO THEIR WEBSITES TO SEE HOW EACH GROUP IS HANDLING IT.
Check out www.meetup.com/Loveopen & www.meetup.com/loving-more
and other SoCal poly groups (40+ groups in the Greater LA Area!)
The Southern California Naturist Association Meetup http://www.meetup.com/nature-519
This is the largest non-landed clothing optional club in California

Other Poly info:
www.lovemore.com www.polyevents.blogspot.com

Local Organizations


Other groups friendly to Polyamory
KARL HESS CLUB www.karlhessclub.org
meets on the 3rd Monday at Dinah’s Family Restaurant, 6521 Sepulveda Blvd. (at Centinela), Culver City. Phone: (310) 645-0456 West L.A.

Burning Man Festival virtual or in person? For details www.burningman.com!
LTD DUES ARE $25.00 PER YEAR FOR ONE PERSON, $40 FOR A COUPLE, $10 EACH FOR ADDITIONAL PERSON(S) IN THE SAME HOUSE. DOUBLE THAT FOR FREE ATTENDANCE AT ALL REGULAR DAY TIME 3RD SATURDAY MEETINGS. TO BECOME A MEMBER OR TO RENEW YOUR MEMBERSHIP, PLEASE COMPLETE THE FOLLOWING FORM AND EITHER E-MAIL OR SNAIL MAIL IT TO THE ADDRESS LISTED BELOW. An E-Mail NEWSLETTER SUBSCRIPTION ONLY IS AVAILABLE FOR FREE. JUST BE SURE TO PROVIDE US WITH YOUR E-Mail ADDRESS. REGULAR MEETINGS ARE $5.00 WITH YOUR CURRENTLY PAID MEMBERSHIP CARD (FAMILY SYNERGY OR LIVE THE DREAM) WITHOUT MEMBERSHIP MEETINGS ARE $10.00.