Extracted from the July-August 2023 Live the Dream Newsletter
Is someone living with or married to a poly partner who does not have multiple sexual love relationships themselves still poly? I would say yes. For many years while I was married to my second husband Paul, we had a relationship with a couple who had this situation. Ralph, who I met through Family Synergy while he was in a residential triad with founder Hy Levy and his wife, had been my lover for many years before he married Sharon and before Paul and I had a romantic relationship. That relationship continued after Paul and I were married. Ralph’s wife Sharon (a top-level computer analyst for NASA) was mostly monogamous. She would sit in their living room doing work on her computer while the three of us enjoyed each other’s company in their bedroom. Then we would all go out to dinner together or Ralph might create a gourmet meal right there at home. We were all close and beloved friends. There was no jealousy in Sharon and she enjoyed the pleasure that the relationship gave to her husband as well as to Paul and me. That is compersion. It is also a belief that being Ralph’s wife did not give her ownership of his sexuality. In my view, that made her Poly. Sharon is still dear to me today though she now lives in Seattle and Ralph passed on in 2010. My husband Craig and I visited her and spent a week in her home before the Pandemic and will probably do so again soon.
Paul’s wife, Athena, is actually the Poly Princess this article is about. She, too, is monogamous while being married to Paul, who has been Poly all his adult life. While Paul and I separated as husband and wife in 2009, we maintained a friendship even then and became lovers again a couple of years later. Paul met Athena in 2010 and brought her to visit for Thanksgiving that year. Athena had read many Heinlein books including Stranger in a Strange Land. We all shared water that Thanksgiving. The two of them lived together for many years while continuing to visit me whether I had a partner at the time or not. When Craig moved in, we got a bed big enough for the comfort of the four of us to sleep together during their visits from Phoenix every month or two. We share vacations about twice a year as Paul and I still have a Time Share together. They provided photography (Athena) and videography (Paul) at my wedding to Craig in 2018. Craig and I assisted in putting their wedding together when Paul and Athena were married in 2020. While Athena is not entirely jealousy free, she loves Paul enough to delight in his pleasure with others. Compersion again. Athena does not love to travel, but she understands Paul’s relationship with Craig and me as well as with other friends and water brothers in our Nest when he visits in LA where he lived since age 19.
What makes her a Poly Princess? Well, all of that, but the most recent example is my 70th birthday last month. Having them with me for that was really important to me. I had fantasies of waking up with Paul and Craig cuddled close on that day, enjoying delicious love making and a relaxed day together before a birthday party which would include other Family that evening. When I got a call from Paul a couple of days before my birthday telling me Athena was in the emergency room for heart issues, I was worried for her and deeply disappointed that they would not be with me for this life milestone. After several hours in ER and another 24 hours of being monitored in the hospital, she was told she could go home—perhaps the problem had been negative reaction to a new medication. It would have been perfectly reasonable for Athena to claim the need of a good night sleep in her own bed and cancel the whole trip out to LA. She didn’t. She told Paul she was ok to travel with him at the wheel. They went home to pack and were on the road by 3 pm arriving from Phoenix at 1:30 am. By 10 the next day, after a good night’s sleep, Fantasy Fulfilled! Craig and Paul did their inventive best to bring Erotic Delights to my 70th Birthday. Thanks be to Athena, truly a Poly Princess!